Great poem Paul but I'm kinda upset about not being able to see the pictures of your fishing partner.

WASNT ANNETTE a Disney mousecateer m i c k ey  m o u s e ....mickey mouse!!! LOL......              

One of the twins is a sperm whale. The other is a killer whale......

There once was a runt from New Zealand
Who fancied to track him an eland.
But the person named Paul
Was the size of a doll.

His stride lacked some pride
With a much taller Bushman at his side.
This Bushman "host with the most"
would not turn him to toast

But were the tracks in the sand
Made with Paul's hand?
Some called it a snake
But they were wrong on their take.
This "reptile" it seemed
Was not quite what was deemed.

Yes, the drag marks were deep
But definitely not cheap.
No women would ball it
No lumberjacks fall it
It took two real men to haul it

No, the tracks in the sand
Were not made with Dwarf's hand

They came from the little guy's wallet.

Copyright 2007 by Gene Wensel
aka "I AM the man from Nantuckett"

This is getting REALLY good! Poets amongst us, with humor!! or is it vengeance???    

Keep it comin guys!!!

My vote for the best poet - Sleazy.

Sorry, by that I meant the Dwarf, not Gene!!!  

Gene...that was absolutely pathetic!  Sheesh...don't give up your day job.  I, on the other hand, have been contacted by my publisher to write a special book of poems.  They seem to like my proposed title...

THERE ONCE WAS A FAT GUY FROM IWA...

I guess I'll get rich on that and hire you to show me where to put up my own tree stand.

XXXXXOOOOO

Too Short

Oh ya? I'd say kiss my butt, but you can't jump that high...
 Here's another one:

There once was a chap named Paul Brunner
Who thought of himself as tail gunner
With M-60 he spoke
Not a voice nor a joke
But the elk,
they still called him Blade Runner.

With broadhead and bow
He tredged through "deep" snow
Just a skiff would come up to his navel
High heels would not work and he felt like a jerk
wearing ostrich boots with Vibram

So in summer he bent for snakeskins to rent
to tall people as bow limb covers

Now snakes could look down atop of Dwarf's crown
For a mouse was not much bigger
But with M-60 in tow instead of his bow
He struck quite a fancy figure.
But jumping was nil as he hoped for a kill
What a shame he could not reach his trigger.

you guys are too funny. I would never get any rest at your fire.

Rest?  At our camp fire?  Surely you jest?

Getting better Gene, but you'll never be up to my standards.  Give it up before you incur permanent brain damage from over taxing yourself.

There once was a man named Gene
Who at hunting seemed quite keen
Alas, we have heard
From the mouth of a bird
He's so big, he's a has been

Now, Gene, I'm working on several more dandy limmericks.  I'll have them for your assessment tomorrow...

Keep the baby, Faith!

Too Short and Too Talented!

If this topic gets any bigger(pun intended), wonder if they'll make it into a separate forum?      

The poems are cool, but stay in school.

What kind of redneck would brag about being a good poet?

does the Dwarf have a neck?

The Top 20 Worst Things About Being Too Short:

20. Every carnivore looks at him as if he were a snack.
19. You have to be 4' 11" tall to become a Marine.
18. Same distance....3X as many strides.
17. He could never date girls without using a safety net.
16. He still has blocks on the pedals of his bicycle.
15. He can't reach his mailbox.
14. Camo comes in XXL. Why not XXS?
13. He can't enter very many rides at Disneyland.
12. He has to special order the lower limb on any custom bow 12" shorter than the upper limb.
11. A door knob could knock out his front teeth.
10. He has to cut 6" off the tops of his cowboy boots to prevent chaffing. Fishing waders are out of the question.
9. People built like Biggie Hoffman sit on him.
8. Fine-food restaurants don't have booster chairs.
7. A Coke can is bigger than his bladder.
6. He never scored a basket in his life. High hurdles? Not even close.
5. Inoculations are a waste of money. Hypodermic needles punch out the far side.
4. Men call him "Little Buddy." Women call him "cute."
3. Splash-back burns his eyes while urinating.
2. He has to drag out rabbits and squirrels.
1. I'll leave the number one reason open to suggestions.

The Top 20 Best Things About Being Too Short:

20. Shed antlers and wild mushrooms are at eye level.
19. He can make two new arrows from one new full length shaft.
18. Every crawdad is a lobster.
17. He can tie other people's boots without bending over.
16. No altitude sickness....ever.
15. He can get plastered on one shot of whiskey or one can of beer.
14. All his fish look big.
13. He could live in a dog house if he wanted to.
12. Every bath tub is a swimming pool.
11. He can chew his own toe nails.
10. Toddler car seats are safer than air bags.
9. Full length mirrors and low urinals.
8. He can order a Happy Meal without showing ID.
7. He can wrestle hamsters.
6. He can play Tarzan between the legs of tall guys in any locker room shower.
5. With scissors, he can make two pairs of rain pants from a latex glove.
4. He can use popsicle sticks to ski.
3. He can order high balls in any bar without guilt.
2. He can ride any dog.
1. And the number one reason is open for suggestions....

hey Paul, I think Gene done called you out again! ROTFLMAO    

I thought Paul had you until I read your Top 20 Lists . . . you're back, for now :>)  Anyone know the lyrics to "Short People"???