Trad Gang

Nighthawk, Well how does that explain his head, then? I've got one just like his, and its always in full sun and NOTHIN' grows there. I think your theory is all wet.     :goldtooth:

:biglaugh:    :biglaugh:    :biglaugh:  Oh Man my sides hurt!!!

Paul--Defend yourself man,the Gang is getting rowdy------Bone

Too Short,
 Tell the people about your Size 5 ostrich skin cowboy boots that are now two different colors...

Ray,

Not my theory , but if it was then I have to conclude   :help:   that maybe it's because Gene usally wears a hat outside, so the sun doesn't get through. Not saying anything but when I had my bariatric surgery the doctor told me that I would gain an inch for every ten pounds I lost, so see things do grow in the sun    :thumbsup:      :thumbsup:

:biglaugh:

Ray,

Most people agree  that Barrys the better looking one, out of the two  :wavey:    :wavey:

That's it!!!  5:30 in the morning and I wake up to see THIS?  The gauntlet has been thrown down!

Some years back, I went to a seamstress and had a dental mirror put into a leg wrap, complete with velcro for adjustment.  Sort of like a garter, if you get my drift.  I presented it to Gene on stage at the PBS gathering, in front of hundreds of people.  It was cool...  Gene hadn't seen his "Hydraulics" in years and he was now all set.  

I asked him a couple of years later what he had done with it and he said he had thrown it out.  THEN...I asked Donna about it.  Aha!  Seems he kept it and all the velcro is just about worn off.  

The cowboy boots...Again, another PBS convention and I went into the men's.  Urnals were full (and way too high, anyway), so I went into a stall.  I'm standing there kind of humming a tune and I hear this splattering sound, followed by insane giggling.  I look down and someone in the next stall is pissing on one of my $600 Paul Bond Ostrich boots!  

When I walked out of the men's room, there were around 600 pairs of eyes glued to my one dark boot (and pant leg) and my light boot.  Just remember, Gene...  "Revenge is a meal that must be eaten cold!"

Floating the Moose John River with Gene was a REAL education.  Now most of the stuff that happened on that trip are not presentable here, but, TRUST ME, this man (using that term losely) is whacked out most of a 24 hour day.  

I HAVE PHOTOS!!!!  First, there is Gene in a T shirt that only comes down to the fat roll above his navel.  It says, "I choked Linda Lovelace!"  Of course, it was my shirt and he borrowed it.  It never fit again.  Then there is the photo of the Brothers Wensel Sumo wrestling!  Both had their Jockeys pulled tight into their bun cracks...or maybe they are always like that.

These are old time regular photos, but when I get back to Montana, I'm going to have them scanned and see about putting them in this site somewhere.

More?  You bet, but I'm saving it for the next time I get in here.

Oh, yeah... Bob McMann was here and we went fishing together.  He's the guy who used to bring the Helle knives in to the country.  If he posts a photo of me with a sheep in a river, I was just helping the sheep get to shore.  It had been mired in the mud and instead of helping me free it, he took pictures.  Don't believe anything he tells you.  The sheep was way too tall for any of that to be true!

Too F. Short

To funny paul!   :biglaugh:

"Then there is the photo of the Brothers Wensel Sumo wrestling! Both had their Jockeys pulled tight into their bun cracks...or maybe they are always like that."


Well...there are just some parts of bowhunting I can go without seeing, Mr. Brunner...   :scared:

Paul,

You been sheep hunting??? Ewe is baaaaaad  :biglaugh:    :biglaugh:

Paul,

You been sheep hunting? Ewe is baaaad  :biglaugh:    :biglaugh:

Paul you didn't put the sheeps hind legs into your 600.00 ostrich boots did you??

Too Short needs to tell us a few more facts. The tune he was humming in the urinal stall happened to be "I'm Singing In The Rain."
When he came out of the rest room, one boot was light tan and the other was a dark chocolate color. Priceless.....
Anyone who wears ostrich cowboy boots and a real wolverine fur coat in public needs watered down. I wonder if Jerimiah Johnson ever owned ostrich boots?

Is it true that Paul got thrown out of the Joan Leonard Memorial Bunny Hunt because the beagles kept tripping over him?  :confused:  

Killdeer

Such abuse!!! No wonder he hides in a New Zealand Hobbit hole half the year  :)

Man this stuff is priceless i haven't laughed liked this in years. When these two guys walk down the street they look like the letter O with a period beside it like this. O. We all know witch one 2short is.TD.

I always knew folks from Montana didn't need a lot of words to get their point across...Paul, you are the man  :clapper:  
>>>Tim------->

pAUL AND THE SHEEP sounds BaHHHHHaaaaDDDDD   :wavey:

Gene is prolly wearing rubber boots pretty regular lately.  :thumbsup:

Coming to pay per view soon.............LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!! Dwarf Dynamite versus Man Mountain in a grudge cage match!

Get your order in now.

I heard Paul has started a second career as a  model for children's clothing in Cabelas.

Gene; Remember " It ain't the size of the Dog in the fight , but the sze of the fight in the Dog" I get the feeling that brunner is Brewing  somthing for ya! LOL.

I've heard the Mr. & Mr. Wensels have a new fitness workout video.
They say it's to help eliminate the need for the emrgency buttom shown in TV commercial for "I've fallen and I can't get up" to:

The Wensel's "Wobble and You Won't Fall Down" work out video.

With songs like "Eating to the Oldies" and another "I just wanna eat all night and eat everyday" (sang in the KISS melody of "I Just wanna rocken roll all night and party every day)

Why walk and take the chance of falling down when you can wobble every where.

It's all about a a Seefood diet, when they seefood they eat it.

I was waiting for the ostrich boot story.  Gene told that a few years ago from start to finish on another site.  I was laughing so hard I nearly gave my own boots a wetting. I chuckle everytime I see someone walk into a public restroom wearing fancy boots.

I heard TOO SHORT was sueing his city for building the sidewalks to close to his a_s.

Serg, I don't think a pit bull like me has to worry too much about a Yorkie with no teeth.... or would he maybe be a shitsu???
Too Short is a pony in a world of horses. He is a weinie dog in a kennel of Rotweillers. A skateboard at a Harley Davidson ralley. A grape in a watermelon patch. A minnow in a sea of sharks....

Say "good night" Gene . . .

Let's keep this civil, Gene!  NO stories about the Boston Bomb Squad!

I'm working on some comparisons for you, big boy!  I plan to stay up most of the night with my Funk and Wagnells to conjure up some good ones.  Really, Gene..."a grape in a water mellon patch"?  Couldn't you do better than that?

Still visiting those places where you put a quarter in the slot and get to see part of a "special" movie?  What was it that happened to Barry's Burbarry Rain Coat in one of those places?  Hmmm?  I can't seem to remember!

Then there's the story of you shooting that Bear and getting him half skinned and then an Elk bugled.  Off you went and never could find the Bear or the skinning knife again...Good thing Barry and I were there to help!

Then there's the two cases of Dinty Moore Beef Stew that you and Barry ate cold while whining under our table...

Man, it goes on and on...don't it, Gene?

Too F. Short

Say "good night" Paul . . .

Along time ago when Wensels were considered totally believable; one of them said that they got big bucks the 'easy way'.
'Estrus is Estrus; human or deer.'
"Just what do you think that string is for??"
And that fall was one I will NEVER forget. Those things were hanging from every tree!!!
      :eek:
I live in bighorn country; not unusual to see them in the road or next to it. I also live in steelhead country; and its not at all unusual to see fishermen in the store wearing their hip boots.
 I don't expect to live to elk season... cause I know I am going to ask ..... "you sheep huntin?".

         :saywhat:

You're going to have to get up earlier Wee Man. Remember the time I wiped my boogers on the back side of your steering wheel? They were fresh wet ones too. The kind I snaked out from behind my brain...

Or how about the time I dumped seven packs of Bromo Seltzer into your pee bottle hanging in the treestand you had down by the beaver dam?
Or how about telling the folks about the time I signed you up for the gay march and had them send all the paperwork to your next door neighbor's address?

I guess I did have that wrong. Sorry. You're not a grape. You'd be more like a raisin.

you fellas are nuts!  :bigsmyl:    :goldtooth:

Can you say "WENSEL FEEDING FRENZY"????   Man, I'm starting to feel a little, I mean, substantially sorry for Paul. LOL

FOCLMAO.....

Now I'm not one to go against Uncle Gene, after all, he and Barry are two of my closest friends BUT, (you knew that was coming eh?)

When it comes to hangin stands, Too Short's steps aren't that big of a deal. Wens uses 4 stands to hang one. One about knee high then climb up on it, another about waist high, climb up on it....you get the idea. Then he screws the steps in on the way back down. Don't believe me???

  (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/whoffman1955/temp/th_Wenselstandhangintechnique.jpg) (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/whoffman1955/temp/Wenselstandhangintechnique.jpg)
  (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/whoffman1955/temp/th_BiggiepinsTooShort.jpg) (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/whoffman1955/temp/BiggiepinsTooShort.jpg)

Common Paul lets see dem Wensel pics!!! Maybe you could tell us the real reason he called dat buck WOODY!

OOps....the second pic is ME kickin Too Short's butt at the PBS gathering in Charlotte.
I took him eaaaaaaaaaaaasy........
Uncle Barry is the Referee

Seeing that I'm going in for hernia surgery on Thursday,I think I better avoid this post for a couple of weeks.LOL.Ouch that hurts!

I hope this thread picks up alil later on today.. Sure could use some more...   :smileystooges:

I've allready ruined two keyboards.

Paul,
I can see by the paucity of your replies that you are a bigger man than Mr. Wensel...well, maybe not a BIGGER man, but broader-minded...well, maybe broader is not the word either. Let's leave it at this.  You have fewer SHORT comings than Mr. Wensel, but he is far more WELL ROUNDED an individual than you.  Regards, Brady

Tradgang...the only site on the web where you can throw jabs at some of your archery heros, and still feel good about yourself.    :bigsmyl:    :bigsmyl:

Big,

In that pic of you stomping TS, are you hollerin' "get in my belly?"

Good one ray, this is a hilarious thread, it makes my day a little better when i read it after an annoying day of school.

Id like to come past the Wensel setup I wouldnt have to buy stands for years. Do you put those like that to confuse the deer LOL.

I have read this thread twice ...but cant quite finish, the third I keep comming up too short...  :bigsmyl:    :wavey:    :notworthy:

i just read this thread in my night class... guest speaker... and here i sit doing my best not to bust out laughing... it was torture!!!!!

What a GREAT place!!!

Got in trouble at work myself but Who cares this is hilarious.

Dang it sorry..double post..still laughing though

So that is why they call those rubber boots Pac's I had always wondered!!!!!

(http://www.brothersofthebow.com/assets/images/tooshort.jpg)

Paul , where exactly is ur hand, sir???    :bigsmyl:        :help:        :banghead:        :campfire:        :biglaugh:  ...Gene you sure look happy too...  :) ...or is this just apart of ur new video guy's broke back bowhunter!!!LOL

Marty McMahon (center) runs with the Big Dogs. Well, two big dogs and one puppy....

Gene,

Don't you ever sleep?  What time is it where Paul sits to get these jabs?

We sure make that big Impala look small! It must know how Paul feels all the time.Oh, that's why all his game looks huge and Biggie's game looks so small!!It's not trick photograpy!

Hey Paul, don't let em get you down about all the tree steps you have to use. Get you a 4x4 and a pump jack and you'll save a ton of money on tree steps.

It appears like Paul is either too small to cast a shadow, or some devious person doctored the African photo. Not sure who that could be??? :>)

Mike, no shadow?  That's because Paul Brunner is not a real person - he's a figment of Gene's imagination:^")

Oh, I see....Say hello to my little friend!!

...so if'n you were as tall as an arrow, you could have a tool that was smaller than normal and it would still hang below your knees. How would one know they were gifted? Don't anyone tell him any different.  ;)

What does Too Short condiser Big Game? Would a jackolope be like an elk?    :confused:  

Wasn't that that lil fellas name in the Flintstone Gazu?  Translate Gazu from Gazubian to Englis = Too Short

Hey, I saw the 8th Dwarf wrestle a female cottontail rabbit one time. It was a close match with lots of squealing and kicking from both parties but Too Short came out on top.....

"That's because Paul Brunner is not a real person - he's a figment of Gene's imagination:^") "

Gary, did you mean "a fixture of Gene's immaturation"?
Killdeer

(http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f29/mrviclisco/doglaugh.gif)

nah, theres no doctoring, Gene wouldnt stoop that LOW to beLITTLE someone like that

Gene....you asked for it now run with it..

R

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v195/RyanRothhaar/GeneandDwarf.jpg)

Proof positive. The man is the same size as my arrows....

Proof positive he may be full of $&%#! Thats a great picture Ryan.

Ahhh!!!! Paul giving birth to a little Gene.Hey guys I don't beleive I would mess with a fella that could drop a load like that. GOD BLESS  Tony

That is wrong on so many levels......  :eek:

That's why Paul is normal sized, he let's it out.  Mr W holds it all in.

Did I mention how wrong that is?    

Who's the Lepercaun over the bear?

Well, at least now we know why his eyes are brown.
 :goldtooth:

Sheesh!  I take off on an overnight fishing trip with my mate, who happens to be a beautiful, six foot tall, Nordic Goddess from Norwegian Airlines, and I come back to more verbal sewage!

I remember the time in Georgia when we were filming with Gene and Barry and we went into a Shoney's restaurant.  We had to wait about 5 minutes for a table...  Gene was hungry (so what's new) and went around eating scraps off other people's plates on vacated tables.  THEN the idiot goes over to a table full of southern red necks and asks for some bacon!  I already had my escape route picked out!

Calgary Alberta:  a really CLASSY, wee breakfast restaurant with lace table cloths, fine china, and a lovely view.  They only made one mistake when they remodled this place...they put the men's room right off the wall of the dinning area with no corridor.

As usual, Gene orders enough for about 8 REAL people (my size) and starts scarfing it up.  This is one of those times when you don't let your hands stray too far from your plate, or they'll get bitten off, if you get my drift.

In walk four MOUNTIES...you know, the Sergeant Preston types with the fancy red uniforms.  Now we note the second mistake of the day...they sit in the table closest to the men's room door!  About this time Gene gets that "I'm topped up look on his face and anxiously looks around for the you-know-what.

Within moments, some really gross noises are coming through the men's room door and then the air, once prefumed with the scent of freshly baked cinnamon rolls, changes to something slightly worse than the settling ponds in the Calgary sewer treatment plant.  Two tables immediately emptied out and they weren't that near the door to the can.  I watched the faces on the Mounties...They are sort of like the Queen's guards...they can't let on that something is bothering them...they just sit there grim faced. The give away, with these stoic guys is when their skin begins to turn a lovely shade of green.

Then Gene opened the door (and, of course, left it open) and walked into the room again.  I heard a thump behind him and saw one of the Mounties slumped over on the floor!  I grabbed the check, paid it, and got out the door with out taking more than three breaths.  Lucky I had been a free diver for all those years and could hold my breath for a full three minutes.

All my really good blackmail photos are on the film kind and sitting in a file in Montana, but when I get back, there will be MANY photos posted to this site.  Paybacks are one of the fun things that I really love.

Gene did forget about the time we were in his Blazer going fishing and I took a slug of my coke...only to find I had gotten his spit can by mistake.  Having your stomach pumped is NOT a pleasant experience.

Too F. Short, but danged pourd of it (I'm also pourd to be dislexic)!

Great stuff! LMAO thanks for the laughs.


Gene

Paul lets see pictures of your fishin partner! Please?"Six foot tall Nordic Goddess from Norwegian Airlines" WOO FAA!What a minute six foot tall?

By-the-way, I now wear rubber gloves when I drive anywhere with Gene!  Yuck!

It is fun to watch him picking the dead grasshoppers off your grill and eating them.  He needs a wee bit of Emily Post, though.  He constantly smacks his lips when he gets a big moth!  

Ask Gene about the time he woke up at a P & Y convention and found PUKE all over the sleeve of his cordoroy sports coat.  Yeah, I know...who would EVER buy a cordoroy sports coat?  

Biggie...you owe me one for the Sumo contest.  How about some of YOUR stories about our pudgy friend?  

Too F. Short

ttt

Still don't know who the Lepercaun is???

could you imagine sittin around a fire after a day of shootin listen to these guys go at it?

I have seen Gene laugh until he pukes!  You  would not even BEGIN to believe what comes up!  YUCK!  Ask him about the time he puked in Don Schoffler's yard.

Gene?  Lay that one on us!

Too Short

Yeh! Puke stories just in time for dinner!Paul still waitin for those fishin partner pics.

Paul,
  I'm in your corner.The only problem I see about us being short is we're the last ones to know it's raining !

But shooting out of ground blinds is easier for you guys.

Who won??? or is this just the end of round one?

Roflmao, This is good guys.  Glad to see everyone is good natured about this.

Good natured?  I'll show you good natured!  I will get even with the Fat Man!  Don't sleep too soundly, Gene!  The Boogey Man is out there...

Too Short

Oh no, not more puke stories...  :rolleyes:

Who knows what evil lurks in the minds of men?

How many of you are old enough to know the answer?

Beware, Gene, for I know ALL about you!

Too F. Short

in Gene's defense, while hog hunting in texas he refused to talk behind Too Shorts back   :notworthy:   . what a true gentleman. what i can't figure is how Barry has escaped this thread   :confused: ... i should grab some shut eye, but my sides are killing me from laughing. my wife is still sniker'n about the Shoney's incident.

The Shadow knows.

I knew it wasnt over yet...  :bigsmyl:

Ahhh...I see that wudstix, who can't spell for beans, is OLD enough to know!

I can picture Gene and Barry, sitting like Jaba the Hut in front of the old wooden, three foot tall, radio listening to The Shadow, The Lone Ranger, Boston Blacky, Bat Man, Roy Rogers, Amos and Andy (which probably affected them more than any other program), and more.

Then came TV.  Ask Gene to tell you his long running fantasies about Annette Funacello!  He described them glowingly around several campfires over the year.  This is one of the reasons that Schafer was so reluctant to answer Gene's questions about his success with women.  He didn't want to end up sharing with Gene...by proxy.

I walked into a room one day
Was shocked, not knowing what to say
There on the bed lay two beached whales
Far from sand and boats with sails
One was Barry and one was Gene
By far the grossest sight I've seen.

Pizza boxes, burger wraps, and crumbs galore
Clothes and stuff strewn on the floor
The smell of body was strong and stout
My only thought...how to get out?
Mindless giggling filled the room
Along with an occassional minor boom

I still have visions of that scene
Two beached whales...Barry and Gene
Wearing only jockey shorts to my surprise
I didn't know they came in that size
The rest of my life will be a nightmare
Of all that fat and all that hair

Copyright: Paul B. Brunner
Otherwise known as the 8th Dwarf or Too Short

Barry...where's the B O A T story?  You said you posted it.  My reputation needs further enhancement!

Your wee mate, Too Short

ttt

Great poem Paul but I'm kinda upset about not being able to see the pictures of your fishing partner.

WASNT ANNETTE a Disney mousecateer m i c k ey  m o u s e ....mickey mouse!!! LOL......   :goldtooth:      :goldtooth:      :goldtooth:

One of the twins is a sperm whale. The other is a killer whale......

There once was a runt from New Zealand
Who fancied to track him an eland.
But the person named Paul
Was the size of a doll.

His stride lacked some pride
With a much taller Bushman at his side.
This Bushman "host with the most"
would not turn him to toast

But were the tracks in the sand
Made with Paul's hand?
Some called it a snake
But they were wrong on their take.
This "reptile" it seemed
Was not quite what was deemed.

Yes, the drag marks were deep
But definitely not cheap.
No women would ball it
No lumberjacks fall it
It took two real men to haul it

No, the tracks in the sand
Were not made with Dwarf's hand

They came from the little guy's wallet.

Copyright 2007 by Gene Wensel
aka "I AM the man from Nantuckett"

:smileystooges:

This is getting REALLY good! Poets amongst us, with humor!! or is it vengeance???  :scared:  

Keep it comin guys!!!

My vote for the best poet - Sleazy.

Sorry, by that I meant the Dwarf, not Gene!!!  :notworthy:

Gene...that was absolutely pathetic!  Sheesh...don't give up your day job.  I, on the other hand, have been contacted by my publisher to write a special book of poems.  They seem to like my proposed title...

THERE ONCE WAS A FAT GUY FROM IWA...

I guess I'll get rich on that and hire you to show me where to put up my own tree stand.

XXXXXOOOOO

Too Short

Oh ya? I'd say kiss my butt, but you can't jump that high...
 Here's another one:

There once was a chap named Paul Brunner
Who thought of himself as tail gunner
With M-60 he spoke
Not a voice nor a joke
But the elk,
they still called him Blade Runner.

With broadhead and bow
He tredged through "deep" snow
Just a skiff would come up to his navel
High heels would not work and he felt like a jerk
wearing ostrich boots with Vibram

So in summer he bent for snakeskins to rent
to tall people as bow limb covers

Now snakes could look down atop of Dwarf's crown
For a mouse was not much bigger
But with M-60 in tow instead of his bow
He struck quite a fancy figure.
But jumping was nil as he hoped for a kill
What a shame he could not reach his trigger.

you guys are too funny. I would never get any rest at your fire.

Rest?  At our camp fire?  Surely you jest?

Getting better Gene, but you'll never be up to my standards.  Give it up before you incur permanent brain damage from over taxing yourself.

There once was a man named Gene
Who at hunting seemed quite keen
Alas, we have heard
From the mouth of a bird
He's so big, he's a has been

Now, Gene, I'm working on several more dandy limmericks.  I'll have them for your assessment tomorrow...

Keep the baby, Faith!

Too Short and Too Talented!

If this topic gets any bigger(pun intended), wonder if they'll make it into a separate forum?      :biglaugh:

The poems are cool, but stay in school.

What kind of redneck would brag about being a good poet?

does the Dwarf have a neck?

The Top 20 Worst Things About Being Too Short:

20. Every carnivore looks at him as if he were a snack.
19. You have to be 4' 11" tall to become a Marine.
18. Same distance....3X as many strides.
17. He could never date girls without using a safety net.
16. He still has blocks on the pedals of his bicycle.
15. He can't reach his mailbox.
14. Camo comes in XXL. Why not XXS?
13. He can't enter very many rides at Disneyland.
12. He has to special order the lower limb on any custom bow 12" shorter than the upper limb.
11. A door knob could knock out his front teeth.
10. He has to cut 6" off the tops of his cowboy boots to prevent chaffing. Fishing waders are out of the question.
9. People built like Biggie Hoffman sit on him.
8. Fine-food restaurants don't have booster chairs.
7. A Coke can is bigger than his bladder.
6. He never scored a basket in his life. High hurdles? Not even close.
5. Inoculations are a waste of money. Hypodermic needles punch out the far side.
4. Men call him "Little Buddy." Women call him "cute."
3. Splash-back burns his eyes while urinating.
2. He has to drag out rabbits and squirrels.
1. I'll leave the number one reason open to suggestions.

The Top 20 Best Things About Being Too Short:

20. Shed antlers and wild mushrooms are at eye level.
19. He can make two new arrows from one new full length shaft.
18. Every crawdad is a lobster.
17. He can tie other people's boots without bending over.
16. No altitude sickness....ever.
15. He can get plastered on one shot of whiskey or one can of beer.
14. All his fish look big.
13. He could live in a dog house if he wanted to.
12. Every bath tub is a swimming pool.
11. He can chew his own toe nails.
10. Toddler car seats are safer than air bags.
9. Full length mirrors and low urinals.
8. He can order a Happy Meal without showing ID.
7. He can wrestle hamsters.
6. He can play Tarzan between the legs of tall guys in any locker room shower.
5. With scissors, he can make two pairs of rain pants from a latex glove.
4. He can use popsicle sticks to ski.
3. He can order high balls in any bar without guilt.
2. He can ride any dog.
1. And the number one reason is open for suggestions....

hey Paul, I think Gene done called you out again! ROTFLMAO    :biglaugh:

I thought Paul had you until I read your Top 20 Lists . . . you're back, for now :>)  Anyone know the lyrics to "Short People"???

Gotta like Randy Newman!!

Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
To live

They got little hands
And little eyes
And they walk around
Tellin' great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet

Well, I don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Round here

Short People are just the same
As you and I
(A Fool Such As I)
All men are brothers
Until the day they die
(It's A Wonderful World)

Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody
To love

They got little baby legs
And they stand so low
You got to pick 'em up
Just to say hello
They got little cars
That got beep, beep, beep
They got little voices
Goin' peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds
They're gonna get you every time
Well, I don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
'Round here

Good thing these guys like each other. Otherwise it could lead to a stint in the ring. Would be a classic Ali/Frazier match up. Speed and footwork against power and brute force.

I'd buy a ringside ticket but wouldn't have a clue on where to put my money.  :)

Guys...and gals...

I throw down the towell.  After the 20 best reasons, I have no place left to go.  I admit that Gene is funnier than I.  This hurts, but I have to be honest.

Now, the fact that everything he wrote was plagerized should be noted.

Heck...  I put a fork sticking up out of the Moose John River when I was floating it with a much smaller Wensel.  I was photographing it and Gene saw me and asked why I was doing it.  I told him I was going to do a story on the trip and include this photo with the caption: "We came to this fork in the river and didn't know which way to go."  He then asked if he could have a copy of the picture after it was developed.  I sent him one after the trip.  Next thing I know, I look in the latested PBS magazine and there is MY photo and MY quote, with Gene taking the credit for himself.

So, although I have thrown in the towell, I strongly suspect that Gene got all this humorous stuff from someone else, as he is not smart enough to do it himself.  He gets most of his funny lines from Grease Man Manelli tapes that some dude Washington DC sends him, by-the-way.

Also, if you ever share a camp with the twins, bring a big trunk with a HUGE padlock and lock up your food.  

My last thought to convey to you readers is for you to remember that all those growth hormones had to go SOMEWHERE!  It's got to be why so many women flock to me.

Cheers!

Way Too F. Short

I just don't have a clue Tom, THEY LIKE EACH OTHER?    
I see 20 reasons had to jump threads. Ya probably won't be long here either!

              Brent

this is hilarious, just have to say

Gene might be at a disadvantage if they were to wrestle. could this be Too Short. note the cowboy boots. looks like about 6 inches have been trimmed off.....   (http://www.obsessedwithwrestling.com/pictures/09/vickiwilliamscowboylang.jpg)

Don't throw in the towel Little Buddy. I didn't think you would wimp out. I'm just getting started....

The thing is Paul can't come up with twenty goods things about being LARGE.

Paul theres nothing wrong not being taller upright, than your buddy laying on his side.


I had the right to remain silent, I just did'nt have the ability. Plagerism at its finest!


                  Brent

My cowboy boots are not white on top.  

I am much better looking.

My women are in the class of Jane Mansfield, Goldie Hawn, and Shirley Temple.  I would never be seen with a HAWG like that!

I'm working on more Wensel stories.  I am ticked that I don't have my photos of him here in New Zealand!  I could top him instantly with some of the blackmail class photos I have of the guy!

More poetry soon...

Too F. Short

:campfire:

Jayne Mansfield and Shirley Temple are two examples of your type women? I believe they are both dead. Even if they were alive, they'd be pushing 90 years old. If that blonde in the photo was built like Jayne, your clone wouldn't be standing as close. Matter of fact with one good inhale, she could give your little buddy a black eye. Shirley Temple turns your crank? Wasn't she a child star? What are you trying to tell us? I would think Betty Boop was more your type.

Ba Da BING!!!  :knothead:    OUCH!

Shirley Temple DEAD????????????? No...oh, the humanity...say it isn't so??????? I heard she was a longbow shooter.
(I had to stick that in here - as a moderator its my job to keep these things trad related, you know.)

Paul is not short...he is just vertically challenged!

Shirley's alive and kicking.  Gene's starting rumors!

This is some of the best reading since Louis La'Amour.   I love this back and forth from 2 friends.  This is funny.

It is funny, but I don't know about the friends part lol. Alan

Too Short,
  April 23 is Shirley Temple's 79th birthday. You better hit the flower shop.....

and Paul, its T O W E L. One ' L ' ....
Sheesh, I wish guys on here would learn how to spell correctly!

 :knothead:

Ray I sure wish the new pewter wuld had spel chek  :readit:  


                       Brent

Brent,

that was directed at Paul...you have to know his postings well... he always complains about the bad the spelling here...so I was just using the chance to take a jab at him!!

  :biglaugh:

A great thread to brighten the day!
I've not met Paul, but have met Gene and Barry,
I think short people have the camo thing  whipped- unless some guys are out "stump" shooting...
Gene could get by with a sign taped to his belly,
1st cut $40/round bale.  The deer wouldn't suspect a thing....

Been gone fishing...now back to defend myself.

Shucky-darn!  You're right, Ray, but you didn't consider the fact that this was obviously a "Typo", since I do not EVER mis-spell an English word.  SIX YEARS OF HIGH SCHOOL gave me a superior education!  How many of you other readers got an education like that?  In addition to all that education, I was very mature when they sent my diploma in the mail (for some unknown reason, they refused to allow me to attend the senior graduation exercises...fine with me, since I HATE exercising anyway!)  I guess it was because they didn't want someone nearly 21 in the lineup!

Gene is one of two fat deerholics
In the woods he used to love to frolic
No more frolicing now
He's as big as a cow
Many years since he's seen his hydraulics!

And some of you think this is between two FRIENDS??????

Hugs and kisses, Gene

Too F. Short

Awww...Gene!  You mean Shirley ain't that cute wee girl anymore?  I guess I'm out of touch!

Maybe Dame Edna, or some such cutie pie?  I need to have women to lust after, Gene.  Note, I did NOT end that sentence with a preposition!

WAY TOO DANGED SHORT BUT HAPPY NOT TO BE TALL OR FAT!

Zing-g-ga

flinch,who ever said these two guys are friends?????  :D

I thought preposition was part of forplay....
By the way, you didn't spell Jayne Mansfield's first name right either.

Too Short seems to think foreplay is two couples playing tennis.
Exactly how many schools were you kicked out of? I suppose you're gonna tell us they kept you around for six years to play basketball....

Umm, Paul,
"Maybe Dame Edna, or some such cutie pie? I need to have women to lust after, Gene. Note, I did NOT end that sentence with a preposition!"

Was the last word supposed to be "proposition"?

Hey Paul,
Was just wondering, was that "Home Schooled", Public School, or Private?
>>>Tim~------>

Now that I think about it, the inflatible girlfriend Too Short takes with him on extended hunting trips does look like Jayne Mansfield....

Before Too Short corrects me, I meant to spell it "inflatable."

Dwarf told me he buried that doll when she came down with mildew.....

:campfire:

AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA,
YOU GUYS ARE TOO MUCH!!!

I actually gave up on "Miss Montana", my anatomically correct blow-up doll, because I finally met the perfect woman.  I met "Dolly" in a cool gift store in Invercargill, New Zealand.  She is be-ooootiful in all respects.  She is the perfect woman!  Very low maintenance, too.  One great thing about an anatomically correct blow-up sheep is that she never complains, never asks me to do chores, and never says, "No"!  She has a cute, wee, red bow on her left ear.  All it takes to keep Dolly happy is a wee, rubber patch kit.

I am truly happy for the first time in my life, Gene, and I wanted to share this with you.  By-the-way, Gene, Dolly has a sister, Mildred.  I have taken the liberty of sending her to you in a plain, brown-wrapped box.  She should "be in your hands" in just a few days.  Let me know how you like her.  I think Donna will be darned happy about this, too.  

By-the-way, Gene...  You're looking awfully grey and aged in your photos.  May I suggest an Ellis-type toupee...or at least some hair color.  It would take years off your life.

We need to get together soon, Gene, and compare notes on our lady friends, if you get what I mean.

Cheers, OLD friend!

Heeerrrrreeee we gooooo, folks!

Too F. Short

Had a friend that used to own sheep but his wife made him get rid of them when they all started calling him daaadd.

Gene, Jane Mansfield with or without the Head...I know Im sick!! Heeeeeheeeeeeee  :goldtooth:

Moving this one to the Classics archive......