Although it has been a long time comming my wife and i are going our seperate ways. After many trips to a marriage counselor and also talking to a preacher we just cant seem to work it out. My biggest heartache is not going to be able to see my 6yr old daughter walk down the stairs every morning and come jump in my lap. I know this to shall pass but walking through it is making me physically sick causing panic attacks, loss of appettite and loss of sleep. Keep me in your prayers.
My friend, you are in a tough spot!!!!! I came from such a home, I was 4 when my dad decided to walk in the grass on the other side of the fence, don't hear what I AM NOT SAYING.... I am NOT saying you wanted this OR caused it....I am just saying it is a tough situation for all involved and I will be praying for you.
I C A N N O T Imagine, waking up and not hearing the sound made by those little feet, and not having my daughter in my lap. LORD BLESS YA......Please remember that in life, it isn't what happens to you that matters.......it is how you HANDLE what happens to you!!!!!! I would suggest that you keep it as clean as possible for the childrens sake, all the nasty things that can take place during a seperation far out last the fact that "hey I won, I got the car, or house, or boat, or whatever", my friend, these things are but a fleeting material possesion, but how your children see you treat your wife and or them for that matter far out weighs any material gain you will EVER have. It is much more advantageuos to have yourb childrens respect and admiration than to own some thing that will pass away......think of it this way, everything you now own, someone will else will own, once your gone, so is it really worth fighting over???? may be harsh,but a reality!!! I hope I have shared something you can use, I have not meant to imply that you were doing any of these things, just a perspective veiw from the one who saw it all unfold.
Brad shared a valuable insight. Let me take another tact.
Divorce is supposed to cause all the emotional reactions you're now feeling. You've invested your life and heart into a relationship...and it's failing.
Matters of the heart should heart...death and divorce share the same emotional separation.
Embrace the pain. Know that it is real and it is as it should be. God doesn't protect us from trials or pain, but He does promise to see us through it.
You will heal. Brad shared an important point above: how you treat your wife through this process of divorce, will help show your true heart. Anger, bitterness, resentment are all real, but the fact we FEEL them doesn't mean we have to LIVE them out!
Live in Grace. Keep the Son in your eyes and remember that loving is easy when the people are easy to love...but the true test of Christian love is to love someone who isn't loveable.
Keeping you in prayer, friend. You will Survive!
Shalom and may His peace comfort and strengthen you.
Good stuff said so amen & praying
howdy, Doc, my friend, once again you have managed to show me something....thank you, as I read your addition to the post about the sepration to be, I was reminded that it is Christian to love someone....even if and ESPECIALLY if they are unlovabel and hateful, I needed that this morning!!!!!!
love ya bud, thanks again!!!!I was going to send this in a private email but I am going to post it along side the other post, this man needs to see that even as Christians, we need reminders and help!!!!!
Even as Christians, Brad?
:rolleyes: :D
Geeze... only difference tween us and those who aren't walking in the faith is we know what we are and why...Sinner--- In a fallen world and destined to stumble daily...
...and that only by the Blood of Christ can we amount to anything.
You made the point originally in "letting go a nd letting God" with your advice.
Joe is hurting and rightfully so...but as you said, it's what he does with the feelings that will set him apart in God's eyes and in his child's as the years unfold.
Joe, Keep the Son in your eyes, brother.
perhaps that sounded bad?????? just meaning that we as Christians ought to be able to show even more of the unconditional love, because we are to be filled with it, and also being called to be more like Christ. Refering to the world in a lost and undone state, not knowing the source of unconditional love. At times, we (I) as Christians allow the world veiw to obscure our veiw of unconditional love, being that we are to love without expecting it back, not meaning that we (I) are any better than those who are not Christians, just held to a higher accountability.
Thanks guys for all your kind words and i agree that i need to be respectful during these hard times. I truly want happiness for my wife and if that means she has to find it with someone else i will support that. I have been sober for nearly 3 years and i would never have gotten through that without asking God for help. He has always been there for me and i trust this will be no different. Typing these words just put my heart at ease, works everytime. :thumbsup:
amen....Lord bless
Sounds like you've found the true source of Power, Joe. Keep tapped in. WE're just empty rusty vessles making noise compared to God's peace that passes all understanding. REly on him, but we got your back with our humble prayers for strength, peace and continued sobriety.
Congrats, btw, on your 3 years! 40 more to come! :)
Keep the Son in your eyes!
Prayers sent..don't wish that on anyone!
Hang in there joe,my best freind is still going thru a divorce and has a 3 year old son.Ive been by his side the whole time,just one day at a time,yea you get mad ,angry.Stay focused and hug that little girl.shes gonna need ya.In my prayers.
Joe,
I've been there where your at and I know exactly what you're going through. Hang in there and trust God to help you through it. It will get better, even though right now it seems like your world is falling apart. It just takes time. Just turn it all over to God and have patience.
Toby
Hey guys im really struggling to find my way through these hard times so please say a prayer for me. I know first hand how the power of prayer can help out in times like this and i could really use some power. Im 41 yrs old and i have a wonderful daughter and my health is great so i do have a lot to be thankful for.
Keeping you lifted up, Joe. Darkest hour is just before dawn...stay vigilant for the Lord's direction in all this turmoil.
Keep the Son in your eyes!
Joe I went through the exact same thing when my son was 5 the Lord brought me through it and things are even better than before keep praying. the Lord works in Mysterious ways.
Earl i really appreciate your words of incouragement and i have faith that he will pull me through this. I have good days and bad days which can be expected in time like this. I finally broke down and went to the doctor to get my severe anxiety seen about and im glad i did. For now i will keep putting one foot in front of the other and turning my will and my life over to God.
Thanks
Joe,
Sorry to hear about your hardache,as difficult as it might be keep your chin up.You have alot to be Thankful for and the bond you & your daughter have will become stronger once the troubling times pass.You have alot going for you and you will comeout of this much stronger.Keep your cool ar all costs.
Tom
I encourage you to go to Highlands Church they are a great group of people they will help you through this thing.
God promised strength to overcome, not an easy path through. Embrace the challenges and give thanks that you're never alone... Christ walks with you. When there are only single sets of footprints in the sand by the shore in the hardest times, that is Jesus carrying you! Believe it!
Keep the Son in your eyes!
prayers sent
Thanks guys i read your words of encouragement several times a day and it always makes me feel better. Im home alone this afternoon so i have my new Morrison ILF and a 59 grizzly sitting out on the back deck ready for some practice. I havent been shooting at all since talk of the divorce started but im looking forward to shooting for a while. Tomorrow is going to be a trying time because we are going to see a lawyer and go over some of the legal matters. I love the single set of footprints in the sand Doc and i can honestly say that i have felt that the good lord has carried me on his shoulders more than once in my life.
Thanks
Shoulders, Joe? I would think in those burly carpenter's arms he carries us all in time of need.
Keep the Son in your eyes. Tomorrow is just another day of "stuff" that has to be endured.
He will always give you strength to meet the day's challenges. It's always a decision on our part!
Prayers for tomorrow especially!
I really don't have any words to add but I am praying for you.
prayers with ya bud, allow Him to keep making those single prints in the sand.....
nestle..don't wrestle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really need to run a few things by all of you that have been praying for me. Even though i know that its best that me and my wife go our seperate ways she just dropped a bomb on me.
We signed the divorce papers yesterday and neither one of us had any problems with all we agreed on. My wife has a high paying job and all she asked in the divorce was child support and to pay off her car. I dont really even consider it child support because i will take care of my little girl both financially and emotionaly.
The thing that is killing me is my wife has told me that she has met somebody and says she really cares for this other guy. Im mad and im hurt but i know we just dont belong together but dang i feel betrayed and really hurt.
Its weird because i want her to be happy but this has caught me off gaurd and i feel myself starting to resent her and i dont want to be that way. Please pray for me.
Been in the same boat bud, main difference was no kids. Keep that little girl #1. Focus on her. I had all the same feelings that you have said, but I look back now and it was a blessing because of what God had planned for me with my wife now. 500% better than it was ever before. Wish your ex the best, and hold that little girl up high !!!! she really doe's need you more than ever.. I always try to remember a little saying when things are rough.... "Mind over matter, if you don't mind it, it doesn't matter"
Lanier
Eric Fromm wrote a book called the Art of Loving many years ago. He said in there, "true love is giving up one we love so that they might be happy with someone else". Wow!!!! Never forgot that. Talk about the epitome of Christian or Christ-like LOVE...
My fear for your wife is that it might be a rebound, but then I'm reading tween the lines you feel this was afoot before and partly a impetus to the breakup?
You'll get nowhere with that line of speculation, and even if she told you full disclosure and it was, there's nothing to be gained. You signed the papers. Love didn't go away in a day...
I know wars can be fought over the biblical aspects of divorce, but as said by others, wish her well, pray for her happiness and it will come back to you in blessings you cannot imagine.
Forgiving 77x7 doesn't mean it won't be the same issue, the same person, the same hurt...over and over...cause it can/will! We are ok. Wake up and it starts tearing at us again. Forgive again...and again...and again... till you are healed. Much for you as her...and it's what God calls us through Christ TO DO!
Not as hard as being whipped to the bone and nailed to a cross to die, but still pretty darned hard for most of us, me included...but it is what He asks.
You'll be ok. Again, embrace the anger, the hurt...then forgive as often as it takes for it to loose Satan's hold on you through those emotions!
God bless. Keep the Son in your eyes!
Rejection is a tough thing, but you have to deal with the issue even if it was your fault, or at least you feal like it was your fault.
For your daughter's sake stay focused she needs you more than ever.
If its tough for you just think how it is for her, and she needs to know that it was not her fault, and that your love will never change for her and that though you and her Mom separates she will always be daddys girl.
She needs lots of hugs and love now also. She also can be a comfort for you.
It will pass, but as for as child support I would consider how much her Mom makes and just not get sucked into paying everything.
What you put down on paper and sign will be what you will have to live with.
After all she is the one that is leaving, she might even be willing to give you custody of your daughter.
Thanks guys for all your comments and concerns. I have done a lot of praying and soul searching and i feel much better about everything this morning.
Another thing i would like to add is less than 2 weeks ago i didnt think i would be able to hold up going through all this. The only thing im sure of right now is God will help me get through this.
Amen to that Joe. He never gives more'n we can handle, but I can attest as can many here, Lord often gives us MORE than we WANT!
Maybe that is so we come to realize it's not about US...our strength, but only through HIM can we survive?
Keep the Son in your eyes!